Why I Write

Posted on November 1, 2015 by Heart of the Matter

Hello readers! I want to introduce myself and tell you a little bit about why I am writing this blog. I am a married mother of three and grandmother of four, who was raised in the south in a very traditional and loving Christian family. I have a degree in elementary education which I put to good use for many years as a teacher in both public and private schools. I enjoy walking, reading, tennis, and music. I am a believer but I’m not perfect by any means. I’m a sinner saved by grace who messes up time and time again as I navigate this walk of faith. So don’t look for perfection here!

I began writing this blog as I approached 50 years of age and found myself reflecting on my life—the amazing highs, the desperate lows, and the many average ordinary days in-between. I marvel at how God’s hand has been there to guide, encourage, teach and discipline me, just when I’ve needed it. I am not the same person I was 25 years ago. I have changed and grown and learned so much about parenting, marriage, spirituality, church life, forgiveness, humility and most importantly, about my purpose and identity in Christ. Therefore, I feel a responsibility—a calling—to share that knowledge with those traveling the road of sisterhood behind me.

I may not have all the answers but, I know the one who does. I hope you know Him, too. I would like to connect with fellow travelers—women young and old who need encouragement and guidance on the topics mentioned above and more. My blog is for women in all stages of life—those  in the trenches of motherhood, with toddlers underfoot, and those facing an empty nest who are staring into the face of their husband, now a stranger. I write mainly for women but, many of my posts may be of interest to men, as well.

I want my readers to have a sense that they are not alone, that others have faced the same struggles and survived, that life is meant to be lived with joy and purpose, and that there is hope in Jesus Christ.

Enjoy my blog, comment, and share if you know someone else who may be encouraged by my posts.

B050

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How Team Sports Encourage Godly Character Traits

Posted on October 31, 2015 by Heart of the Matter

Our daughter just finished an incredible season of high school volleyball where her team made it to the regional semi finals. Although they did not advance to the finals, they played really strong all year; gaining experience, improving their skills, and learning to work as a team. Our daughter, who is socially driven and loves being a part of a team, is sorry the season is over, even though she did not get a great amount of playing time in her first year of varsity athletics, which is fine with us. You see, we have a wide and diverse vision for our daughter that includes more than just athletics. So at this time in her life, we are encouraging her to spend time exploring many of her gifts and talents including music, leadership, drama, volunteerism, and athletics. In fact, even though she didn’t play a lot this year, our daughter enjoyed the training she received at practice, the commaraderie, and the bus rides to and from games almost as much as playing in the games themselves. And we know that her time will come. We are allowing the Lord to lead us year by year as to how much time, money and focus we are to put into our daughter’s current sport, making sure that it doesn’t become an idol for our family.

As I thought about the fact that all of our children participated in team sports at one time or another (our sons played soccer, basketball, and football, and our daughter, currently in volleyball and softball), I began to consider how team participation, in particular, had affected our children’s character and values. I realized it had greatly affected them in several key areas.

The first thing that came to mind was, selflessness.

You see, there are many times in team sports when it is your job to set your teammate up for success. They end up getting the glory while you stay in the shadows. Whether you are setting the ball up for the “hitter” in volleyball or blocking for the quarterback in football, you are often not the one for whom the crowd rises to their feet in raucous applause. Selflessness is a trait woven throughout nearly every book of the Bible, especially the New Testament where Jesus is held up as our prime example of selflessness and humility. “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interest of others.” Philippians 2:3-4 (NIV)

Another godly trait that is necessary in team sports is, perseverance.

Players on a team often must continue on through injury, mental blocks, fatigue, discouragement, and game losses. Mental perseverance, better known as, mental toughness, and physical perseverance, are equally necessary. In Hebrews, the Bible speaks of running the race of life with perseverance. “Therefore since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” Hebrews 12:1 (NIV)

And we can’t forget the trait that is always crucial to great athletic performance, discipline.

 It is not easy to show up at practice day after day, come rain or come shine; to practice a particular skill until you find yourself performing the motion in your sleep. Nor is it easy to keep up one’s grades and fulfill other responsibilities at home and school while involved in a sport. It requires discipline; whether it’s keeping a schedule or developing better nutritional and workout habits essential for peak performance. The Bible has a lot to say about discipline that is relevant to those in the athletic arena. The writer of Hebrews says, “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on , however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” Hebrews 12:11 (NIV)

Patience is another quality essential for athletes in team sports.

A rite of passage for many high school athletes is when they have finally done their time “riding the pine” (sitting on the bench or sidelines) and they can finally get in the game. They may spend weeks, months, or years waiting for their chance. And some are not destined to ever become starters on the team. Therefore, patience is essential. Although our culture has perpetuated the mantra, “I want what I want and I want it now!”, that is just not real life. So, as young athletes wait for the coach to say, “Hey kid, you’re up!” , they are developing patience. “Therefore as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” Colossians 3:12 (NIV)

Our daughter attends a Christian school and has godly, Christian coaches who pray with the team and encourage them to be all they can be in Christ. The rarity and blessing of that fact is not lost on us. We are so grateful for their influence in our daughter’s life. Participation in team sports has had a positive effect on all of our children and there is no question that it has impacted and continues to impact their character in the areas of  selflessness, perseverance, discipline and patience…all of which are treated with great importance in the Word of God.

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Parenting by Faith, not Fear

Posted on October 28, 2015 by Heart of the Matter

My husband and I have been in the parenting business for many years. Our children are now 27, 21 and 16. Over the years, in trying to parent well, we have faced numerous decisions and challenges both large and small that would greatly effect our childrens’ futures.

When our children were very young, the decisions were mostly about their daily care such as, when to begin solid food, what kind of diapers to buy, or whether we should leave them with a sitter. We had to decide if a sniffle was “just a sniffle”, or if it merited a doctor visit, and we had to make that critical decision that many other parents face… whether or not I would work outside the home.

As our children began elementary school we had to decide things like: which educational path was right for us, public, private, or homeschool? Which extra-curricular activities would they participate in? Which friendships would we encourage and which would we discourage? Which TV programs would be allowed? What kind of chores would they do at home and would they be paid to do them?

Once middle school and then high school were upon us,we found ourselves facing decisions about academic issues, technology usage, dating, extra-curricular activities (again!), issues of freedom and responsibility, and the all important – “When can I get my license?” question. For our oldest two, the high school years culminated in the life-impacting decision of where to attend college. Our youngest has yet to reach that milestone.

With all of these decisions facing us as parents, we often felt overwhelmed and inadequate for the task. We would put up a confident front but behind the scenes we were trembling in our boots! What added to our fear was the erroneous belief that the outcome of our child’s future was dependent upon our decision -making capabilities! Imagine that, God leaving the success or failure of a child’s future to a couple of fallen, fearful and imperfect parents.

There were times when making difficult decisions where all we could do was fall on our knees and cry out, “God help us! You know our hearts. You know our desire is for these children to reach their full potential in you. We want your best for them, Lord, but we have no idea what to do here. We trust you, though. Please give us wisdom.”

We have prayed this prayer as parents countless times on our more than 20 year journey. Each time we have left the issue at the foot of the cross along with our fear and worry as we watched with hopeful anticipation for God’s direction and guidance.

Time and time again God has proven himself faithful to us and has helped us make the right decision, although, we often wouldn’t see the fruit of that decision until months or years later. Then, we would rejoice at how God’s hand moved in the life of our child. God has frequently reminded us that he isn’t leaving the fate of our children completely up to ‘boot-trembling’, indecisive us! Actually, he holds each of them in the palm of his hand and has a plan for their future that we can not even imagine.

Know this, fellow parents:

  • God loves your children infinitely more than you do.
  • God’s wisdom is always available to you, you need only to call on him.
  • God knows your heart’s desire for your children even when you can’t verbalize it.
  • When you make mistakes as parents God is not surprised by it. He uses everything that happens in your child’s life to his glory.

“If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all, without finding fault, and it will be given to him.” James 1:5 (NIV)

“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.” Romans 8:26-27 (NIV)

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Biblical Gardening 101: Abiding in the Vine

Posted on October 26, 2015 by Heart of the Matter

 

My mother, bless her heart, is an amazing gardener. All of her potted plants are lush and green, bursting with blooms at the proper time each year. Her yard is just as lovely, with beds of colorful flowering plants and grasses, seemingly immune to Florida’s harsh sun and frequent dry spells. I, on the other hand, can kill a plant faster than you can say, “rhododendron!” Seriously, I’ve tried different watering methods, from watering daily, to watering only when the soil is dry. I’ve even tried waiting for the plants themselves to cry out, “Water me now!” Nothing I’ve tried has transformed my patio into the colorful, lush oasis of my dreams. I have come to the conclusion that I didn’t inherit my mother’s “green thumb”.

Did you know that the Bible mentions gardening?

In John, chapter 15, Jesus uses a beautiful example of a gardener and a fruit-bearing vine to illustrate our abiding relationship with Him. In John 15:1-2 he says, “I am the true vine and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit. While each branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.” In this illustration, God, the heavenly gardener, is pruning us as we go through life so that we will be more fruitful and more like him. He accomplishes this through the trials and difficulties we experience on this side of heaven.

Jesus goes on to say, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned.” (vv 5-6) Jesus speaks of himself as the true vine to which we, the branches, are attached. The message is that we become useless and ineffective without Jesus Christ just as the branch withers and dies if it is severed from the nourishing, life-giving vine.

What is this fruit that we are supposed to be bearing?

Well, God’s Word lists the “fruit of the Spirit” in Galatians 5:22: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”

The more that our lives exhibit these traits, the more we will impact our fellow human beings and draw the lost to Jesus Christ.
Jesus tells us the purpose for bearing spiritual fruit in verse 8: “This is to my Father’s glory that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.” Our spiritual fruit shows the world we belong to Him.

How do we abide in Him ?

  • Read God’s Word daily. Is your Bible collecting dust? Brush it off, open to the book of John, or anywhere else, and begin reading. Set aside a few minutes every day to read and meditate on God’s Word. How else will you truly get to know the life-giving vine, Jesus Christ?
  • Spend time in prayer each day, talking to God. He is always there for you. You can have an ongoing dialogue with him throughout the day. He cares what you are going through, big and small. Talk to him in the car as you drive to and from work.
  • Be odedient to God’s Word. We will still fall short at times because we all have a sin nature that came to us at the fall of man.  Nevertheless, Christians are called to obey.
  •  Connect with a fellowship of believers, (better known as—a church). A network of Christian friends who will support and encourage you in your walk with God is essential for spiritual growth and accountability.
  • Have the courage to walk contrary to the culture. Stand up for what’s right. Don’t fear being different. Bible-believing, conservative Christians are quickly becoming the minority and are facing persecution. Are you abiding in Christ so that you will be up to the task?

The world needs to see the fruit of God’s love now more than ever. Abide in the vine so that you can share the life-giving message of Jesus Christ with a hurting and hopeless world.

 

 

 

 

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Biblical Gardening 101

Posted on October 26, 2015 by Heart of the Matter

My mother, bless her heart, is an amazing gardener. All of her potted plants are lush and green, bursting with blooms at the proper time each year. Her yard is just as lovely, with beds of colorful flowering plants and grasses, seemingly immune to Florida’s harsh sun and frequent dry spells. I, on the other hand, can kill a plant faster than you can say, “rhododendron”! Seriously. I’ve tried many different watering methods, from watering daily, to watering only when the soil is dry. I’ve even tried waiting for the plants themselves to cry out, “Water me now!”. Nothing I’ve tried has transformed my patio from its drab appearance of perpetual winter. I have come to the conclusion that I did not inherit my mother’s “green thumb”.

Did you know that the Bible mentions gardening?

In John, chapter 15, Jesus uses a beautiful example of a gardener and a fruit-bearing vine to illustrate our abiding relationship with Him. In John 15:1-2 he says, “I am the true vine and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit. While each branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that itIMG_5158 will be even more fruitful.” In this illustration, God, the heavenly gardener, is pruning us as we go through life so that we will be more fruitful and effective for him. He accomplishes this through the various trials and difficulties we experience on this side of heaven.

Jesus goes on to say, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned.” (vv 5-6) Jesus speaks of himself as the true vine to which we, the branches, are attached. The message is that we become useless and ineffective without Jesus Christ just as the branch withers and dies if it is severed from the nourishing, life-giving vine.

So what is this fruit that we are supposed to be bearing?

Well, God’s Word lists the “fruit of the Spirit” in Galatians 5:22: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”

The more that our lives exhibit these traits, the more we will impact our fellow human beings and draw the lost to Jesus Christ.
Jesus tells us the purpose for bearing spiritual fruit in verse 8: “This is to my Father’s glory that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.” Our spiritual fruit shows the world we belong to Him.

And practically, how do we “abide in Him” in order that we can win the lost to Christ?

  • Read God’s Word daily. Do you own a Bible? Is it collecting dust? Brush it off, open to the book of John, or anywhere else, and begin reading. How else will you truly get to know the life-giving vine, Jesus Christ?
  • Spend time in prayer each day, talking to God. He is always there for you. You can have an ongoing dialogue with him throughout the day. He cares what you are going through, big and small. In today’s world you can even talk to him in the car…everyone will just think you’re talking on your bluetooth-connected phone!
  • Know what is right and wrong according to God’s Word and do your best to obey his commands. Of course we will still fall short at times because we all have that rebellious sin nature, but, nevertheless, Christians are called to obedience.
  •  Connect with a fellowship of believers, (better known as, a church). A network of Christian friends who will support and encourage you in your walk with God can be an amazing blessing.
  • Have the courage to walk contrary to the culture. Stand up for what’s right socially and politically. Don’t fear being different. Biblical, conservative, Christians are quickly becoming the oppressed minority. Are you abiding in Christ so that you will be up to the task?

 

 

 

 

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