5 Important Lessons to Teach Your Daughter

Posted on March 20, 2016 by Heart of the Matter

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Dating:

Wait to date until you are old enough to consider a young man as a potential lifelong partner. Numerous relationships and breakups during the teen years are detrimental to your life and witness and can have serious repercussions for your future marriage relationship.

“In a large house there are articles not only of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay; some are for special purposes and some for common use. Those who cleanse themselves from the latter will be instruments for special purposes, made holy, useful to the master and prepared to do any good work.” 2 Timothy 2:20-21 (NIV)

Academics:

Who you are as a person is far more important than any academic success you may achieve. Although you should always do your very best—putting forth consistent effort in your studies—you are more than your grades. Don’t stress over grades, instead, focus on being salt and light in the world, treating others with love and respect, and using your giftedness to serve Him.

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters…” Colossians 3:23 (NIV)

Friendship:

Be kind to everyone, do not exclude anyone, and do not join in on negative gossip or disparaging remarks towards others. Be a friend to all…even those who may be very different from you. Your very closest friends should be fellow believers who can encourage you in your walk with the Lord and hold you accountable.

“Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character.” 1 Corinthians 15:33 (NIV)

“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” Proverbs 17:17 (NIV)

Self-Image:

Never compare yourself to others. God created you with a unique look, personality, and set of skills meant to help you fulfill a specific purpose in this world that only you can fill. You are perfect in his sight just the way you are. Because of that, your confidence and self-esteem can come from who you are in him, not from achievement, popularity, or beauty.

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know them full well.” Psalm 139:14 (NIV)

Service:

Make time to do something for someone who cannot do for themselves. Serving others is a big part of why we were put on this earth. They will know we are Christians by our love. Ministering to others in the name of Jesus whether in our local community or around the world must be a component of any life that is pleasing to Him.

“Give and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” Luke 6:38 (NIV)

“Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.” 1 Peter 4:10 (NIV)

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Joy in the Trenches

Posted on March 16, 2016 by Heart of the Matter

“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NIV)

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My husband and I have been sick with the flu this week. I mean really sick…the kind of sick that wouldn’t let us get out of bed or even gather the motivation to change out of our pajamas. We knew the flu had been moving through our church family and our community but we thought we had escaped it. The scariest part is the fact that my husband is just 8 weeks post heart surgery. We caught it quickly however, and having turned the corner yesterday, it looks like we are both going to survive.

My husband and I have different approaches to dealing with illness. When I’m sick I try to stay positive. I embrace with pleasure all the nice “stay-in-the-house” kinds of activities that I can enjoy without the usual guilt…like watching a nice long movie, catching up on my reading, soaking in a hot bubble bath…and if we are both sick together, enjoying uninterrupted talk time with my spouse. I try my best to have a positive attitude and look for the silver lining. My husband, on the other hand, doesn’t take illness as well. He can quickly become negative, anxious about all the things he should be doing, and worried that if he doesn’t keep all the plates spinning, our world may come crashing down. Of course, he wants no part in my helping him to find the silver lining! Some say it’s “a man thing” and that women handle illness and pain better than men…something to do with the necessity of women having the courage and fortitude to bear children. I only know my own man, and he doesn’t handle being sick all that well.

Just as periods of sickness give us the opportunity to choose positivity and hope over negativity and worry, such is life.

There is no perfect day. No perfect spouse. No perfect child. No perfect job. There is just imperfect life.

Choosing to reflect joy and refuse worry is something we can do every day. When we do that, we not only improve the environment in our home and uplift our family but we allow the world to see that our circumstances do not determine our outlook. Anyone can be hopeful and positive when things are going great. The moments that draw the attention of unbelievers are those moments when life has kicked us to the curb, when we are “done”, when we are dealt an unfair hand. If we can hold our heads up and remain joyful, positive, even thankful, in those desperate moments, that is when the world will see the hope and peace we have in Jesus Christ.

I am so thankful that I have hope…that I have a reason to rejoice, that I know who holds my future. How about you? If you desire that peace and assurance for today and hope for tomorrow and you’re not sure what to do to get it, please talk to a trusted Christian friend, a pastor, or visit my page on “How to Become a Christian”.

 

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:4-7 (NIV)

 

 

 

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Reflecting God’s love to a lost world

Posted on March 10, 2016 by Heart of the Matter

“This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.” 1 John 4:10-12 (NIV)

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Have you ever considered the fact that the world needs to see God in and through you? People today do not physically see God. But God’s spirit lives inside the hearts of believers…it is through us that the world may know Him.

Through our giving, our loving, our serving.

Through our kindness, our sacrifice, our forgiveness, our joy.

Consider each person you encounter in a given day. Many of those brief encounters are God-ordained moments…orchestrated by the creator himself to allow a lost child of his to see Him…to experience Him.

In today’s world, these interactions with people are often online, through social media or other technological modalities. As we interact with others online, are we ever vigilant, looking for opportunities for others to see God in us? Are we careful not to engage in personal attacks, disrespectful rhetoric, or harsh criticism?

There is a phrase I was taught as a young child and have tried to pass on to my own children. It is this: “You may be the only ‘Jesus’ someone ever sees”. That statement is simple yet profound.

As you encounter other human beings in your daily routine this week, whether online or face-to-face, keep in mind the fact that, if you are a believer in Christ, your interaction with them is meant to exhibit “God’s love, made complete in us”(1 John 4:12).

Let’s reflect Christ with compassion, patience, respect, and love…always pointing people, by our words, attitudes and actions, to the glorious hope and joy that can be found in Christ Jesus.

 

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Battling Discontent

Posted on March 6, 2016 by Heart of the Matter

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Many women today struggle with discontent.

I admit, even I have wrestled with discontent in the past and sometimes still do. It’s a universal and persistent problem in our culture. I have wanted more things than I had, wanted my husband to change, wanted to escape a difficult situation, wanted to be somewhere else.

We can be discontent with our job, our spouse, our home, or our own body. The problem is that as we continue to wallow in discontent, time passes; precious days, weeks and months, even years, go by and before we know it, we have missed so much of life, waiting—and hoping—for whatever lies just over the hill. The reality is that what we think is a greener pasture, may only be a stark, dry desert, a murky swamp, or even a steep and treacherous cliff.

Meanwhile, we miss all the beautiful moments in life that are everywhere around us, if we only we had eyes to see. Beautiful moments like: the look of joy and wonder in our child’s eyes, our husband’s strong and loving arms around us, a clear spring day under a blue sky, the laughter of our family around the dinner table, a walk with a friend, a sudden earth-cleansing rainstorm.

These simple yet profound moments spread out before us like diamonds on a forest path, put there by the creator for us to gather and treasure in our hearts. Unfortunately, we too often miss them as we focus on what we do not have, comparing ourselves and our situation to others around us.

Discontent blossoms when gratitude fades.

If we can begin to walk through our days in thankfulness and gratitude for what we do have, and realize how blessed we truly are as children of God (sealed for eternity, destined for heaven, surrounded with God’s amazing love and presence), then discontent will begin to fade away—just as the distant echoes of winter give way to the joyful bursts of spring. Our eyes will be opened to the beauty found in the simple things, in every new day, in every season of life.

Discontentedness is a tool of satan, that robs us of the joy found in this life—the joy that is meant to reflect Christ to a lost world.

Begin today to look for the diamonds God has scattered  along your path. Pick them up and treasure them. Live life with gratitude.

Enjoy every moment to the fullest, being thankful for where God has placed you today. Trust him with your tomorrow. Be content.

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Friendship: One of the true joys of womanhood

Posted on March 3, 2016 by Heart of the Matter

 

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.'” –C.S. Lewis

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Friendship is not only one of God’s greatest blessings, but is one of the true joys of womanhood.

Our friendships can be a source of strength, joy, and inspiration…especially those friendships that exist among Christian women.

Friendships are often forged during those difficult times in life when we need someone who understands what we’re going through or during those busy, challenging, “young mama” days, when we long for another female adult with whom to share our struggles and joys.

The best friendships are those that lift us up and inspire us to be our best selves…those that encourage us to walk uprightly and to persevere, to laugh at ourselves and find joy in the mundane. I have known this kind of friendship in my life and I count it a blessing.

True friends will not allow us to wallow in our misery for too long nor to stray too far from “center” without lovingly bringing us back, even challenging us, telling us things we may not want to hear but absolutely need to hear.

Consider your own friendships. Are they healthy? Do you only seek friendships with those who will stoke your ego, agree with you at every turn, and enable you to live an unhealthy or unbiblical lifestyle?

Or…do you have friends who will challenge you when you are living a less than authentic existence and  straying from your faith and Biblical values…friends who will grow your faith and build your character as you watch their example and do life with them?

Not only should we look for women like this to enrich our lives but, it is our responsibility to be this type of friend to others, as well. It can be difficult to confront a friend who is drifting away from the faith or just heading in the wrong direction, but a true friend will do just that.

I am thankful for the godly women in my life to whom I look for inspiration and advice and am always on the lookout for new friends whose lifestyles and character I admire that can hold me accountable and walk beside me as I strive to be the best “me” I can be…all that God created me to be…equipped and prepared to shine his light in the world.

Here are some tips when you are seeking quality friendships with Christian women.

Look for women who:

Are NOT prone to gossip. Women who talk about other women are probably talking about you when you are not around! Gossip is warned against in the Word of God due to it’s destructive and hurtful consequences and it’s undermining of the gospel. “A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid anyone who talks too much.” Proverbs 20:19

Value God’s Word, spend time in it, and try their hardest to live by it’s principles. Look for friends who not only claim to be Christians, but walk out their Christian faith in their everyday lives. If you followed that particular women for a day without her knowing, would it be evident that she is a Christ-follower? Of course there is no perfect person, myself included! But, as Christians, our closest friends should be those who will walk with us towards a more Christlike existence, not away from it. “Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you, who walk in the light of your presence, Lord.” Psalm 89:15

Will give you advice based on biblical precepts, not on their own opinions. When the time comes that you need advice about a life decision (relationship, kids, job), you need a friend who will lead you to God’s Word for the answer. Even if they can not take you to a particular scripture passage, at least they can give you advice based on biblical principles and ideals. It’s easy to find people who will tell you exactly what you want to hear in any given situation. It a treasure to find a friend who will help you seek God for the answer and then advise you according to his Word. “All scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.” 2 Timothy 3:16

Their are many types of friendships among women. Some are mentoring friendships designed to disciple and encourage a new or struggling believer. Some are “bridge” type friendships initiated to get to know an unbeliever so that we may bring her into the fold and share the gospel with her. But, as Christian women, we all need solid ongoing friendships with other mature Christian women who can inspire and encourage us as we strive to be salt and light in the world and to reach our full potential in Christ!

 

 

 

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