I always enjoy having coffee with a friend, don’t you? Whether it’s sitting outside at my favorite coffee place, relaxing at my kitchen table, or picking up a steaming cup and enjoying it on a sunny park bench, just the two of us. It’s fun to get to know someone in a deeper way than can be accomplished, just in passing, at church. 

Being an introvert, I especially enjoy the opportunity to spend one-on-one time with people. It’s in that more intimate setting that I open-up, allowing them to get to know my story and my heart. Most introverts don’t feel they are really known until they have this opportunity. Sometimes introverts are misjudged as being aloof or arrogant when they are just quietly waiting for the opportunity to reveal themselves in a smaller, safer, setting. (It’s hard to be known when extroverts are in the room!) But this post isn’t about introverts, it’s about a key component of women’s ministry and that is: the importance of encouragement and transparency when ministering to women.

As I sit outside with a friend, enjoying my “cinnamon dolce latte, grande, hot”, or my favorite Keurig coffee flavor at my kitchen table, it’s never just about the coffee. Instead, it’s about:

• Getting to know each other’s personal story. 

• Sharing our trials, tragedies, fears, and struggles.

• Sharing prayer requests or praying for each other right then and there.

• Encouraging one another to persevere in difficult situations.

• Sharing spiritual wisdom and advice.

• Gently admonishing one another, steering each other back onto the right path, when necessary.

• Sharing an appropriate scripture verse for a particular situation.

Perhaps the most important thing that happens over a cup of coffee (or a lunch date) is that women begin to feel loved, seen and known. As we allow the Holy Spirit to work through us, shining the light of Jesus to the women in our churches and neighborhoods—being transparent with our lives and taking the time to get to know them—women are drawn closer to God. 

Is there someone you could encourage today? Invite them for a coffee or lunch date. Share your story and patiently listen to their story—without judgement. Ask them how you can pray for them. After all, coffee is never just coffee, you know!

“Therefore, encourage one another and build each other up just as you also are doing.” 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NASB)

“Bear one another’s burdens and thereby fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2 (NASB)

“But encourage one another every day, as long as it is still called ‘today’, so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.” Hebrews 3:13 (NASB)