Faith in the Midst of the Storm: Our Heart Surgery Journey

Posted on June 28, 2024 by Heart of the Matter

 

My husband’s cardiologist walked into the heart imaging waiting area located on the 1st floor of our local hospital. I noticed right away the forced smile on his face, belying the worried look in his eyes. This was not good.

My husband had gone in that morning for a heart catheterization due to something “suspicious” the doctor saw on a routine stress test. The fact that the stress test had been abnormal surprised both of us. You see, my husband is an athlete. He started swimming as a kid, did exceptionally well in high school, and even received a scholarship to college. He still swam at our local pool several times a week to stay fit and biked, ran, and lifted weights regularly. He’d even participated in several triathlons during the first few years of our marriage. There was never a day he didn’t do some form of exercise. My husband was a fit competitive athlete and had never been overweight.

The cardiologist happened to be a friend of my husband’s from high school and had been on his high school swim team. Entering the waiting room, Dr G. walked over to me and said, “Beth, can you come with me? I need to show you the results.” I still couldn’t imagine there would be anything seriously wrong with my husband. We’d been blessed with good health and smooth sailing thus far in our lives and I had no expectation of anything else.

We sat down in front of the computer in the cramped, closet-like office space and looked at the image of my husband’s heart on the screen in front of us. Dr G. proceeded to show me numerous blockages, some quite significant. As he talked, I felt like my mind left my body. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. His voice faded away and began to sound like Charlie Brown’s teacher—wah–wah, wah–wah–wah. I thought to myself, he can’tbe talking about Eric. But he was.

We headed into the recovery room to tell my unsuspecting husband he’d need heart surgery—a triple bypass to address four blockages. He was still a little loopy so I don’t think it hit him immediately. Later, he exhibited the same shock I’d felt when I first heard the news.

Dr. G. sent us immediately to the heart surgeon to schedule bypass surgery. “Go straight there, do not pass go, do not collect $200”, he said. The surgery was scheduled for 3 weeks later.

In the days leading up to the surgery, Eric and I went to our knees repeatedly asking for the Lord’s favor and mercy for Eric and for our family. We had three children in their teens at that time who still needed their father to stick around. I can honestly say, God gave us the most amazing sense of peace. We knew that God held Eric in His hands and loved him with an everlasting and unfailing love. We knew that God is ultimately in control of what happens in our lives and that worry is fruitless. In fact, worrying shows a lack of faith in our omnipotent God creator.

I realized I had been prepared for this. I’d been raised in a Christian home by parents whose faith rarely wavered—parents who didn’t fall apart when things got tough but trusted God and His plan. Eric had strong faith, as well, but occasionally let fear creep in (understandable since he was the one who would have his chest cracked open on the operating table). All-in-all though, we trusted God with the situation and moved forward with a sense of hope and peace. We saw it as a blessing that these blockages were found and were being addressed before Eric had a potentially fatal heart attack.

The beauty of being in the family of God is the love and support that come with it. On the day of Eric’s surgery, people flooded the waiting room to pray with me and speak words of encouragement and support. Eric’s dad had come from out of town and for weeks afterwards he talked about the amount of “church people” who came to pray and sit with me. It spoke volumes to him.

The surgery went fine and when Eric was settled in cardiac intensive care, we went back to see him. As I arrived at his bedside, he abruptly pulled me down close to him and whispered, “Beth, they don’t know what they’re doing! Help me!” Of course, the nurses were fully capable, and he was hallucinating (still under the influence of anesthesia), but it was a funny moment. One poignant thing that happened in the cardiac intensive care unit involved Eric’s dad. As he looked at his son lying there so fragile and vulnerable, he said, with tears in his eyes, “Eric, if I could change places with you I would do it.” We all knew he meant it with every fiber of his being.

Eric eventually left the hospital and began his recovery at home with me as his primary nurse (too bad for him because that is definitely not my calling). I actually enjoyed having him home and liked this new slower-paced routine. Typically, my husband works hard, never sits still, and prefers to be busy, busy, busy. We had lots of time to talk as we walked to the front door and back, then to the first tree, then to the end of the driveway and finally, down the street. Eric got stronger and stronger as we prayed for his complete recovery and continued his rehab.

I’d often look at him and say, “I can’t believe you had triple by-pass surgery.” He felt the same. It was surreal to us. He’d been only 52 years old. As we began to talk to some of his family and ask questions we found out that unbeknownst to us, there were family members with heart issues on his mom’s side. Eric also had to take a hard look at his diet which was not great. He pretty much ate whatever he wanted because the extreme amount of exercise he did kept his weight in check, fooling him into thinking he was healthy. There is a critical lesson there. Just because you exercise a lot and may not be overweight, you could still have coronary artery disease, as my husband did.

There’s nothing that happens in our lives that is a surprise to God. Everything in a believer’s life has a purpose and God will use it to His glory. God will never leave us in our time of need. He’s always with us. When unbelievers watch Christians navigate tough things with peace and confidence, it impacts them. God is glorified when we exhibit faith and trust in Him.

If you don’t understand this kind of peace, you can. All it requires is giving your life to Christ, turning to Him in repentance, and trusting him as your Savior and Lord. Once you do so, He is yours forever. The God of the universe will be your sword, shield, and strong tower. You can confidently place your trust in Him no matter what the future holds.

I hope you will not have to experience a health crisis like we did, but if you’re a believer, know that God will be by your side giving you the strength you need.

“Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will also help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Isaiah 41:10 (NASB)

“God is our refuge and strength, a very ready help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth shakes and the mountains slip into the heart of the sea. . .”

Psalm 46:1-2 (NASB)

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This Old House: Happy Memories and Moving On

Posted on June 22, 2024 by Heart of the Matter

This morning, I headed across town for one last look at the house I grew up in. There was a unique piece of furniture I needed to get out of the house—a coffee table made from an old wagon wheel. It had been made by a former pastor of ours who was dear to our family. In fact, he was the pastor who baptized me many years ago. I’m not sure why I felt compelled to take that coffee table. It certainly doesn’t fit in with the décor of my current home (we’re not rustic, western, cattle ranch people). Most of the 1970’s era furniture had been sold at an estate sale or given away in recent weeks, but I put my name on that wagon wheel table, and it was time to get it out. My husband and son-in-law lifted the heavy table (the base is a wooden rain barrel, and the top is a circular piece of glass) and loaded it into the bed of his truck as my daughter and I took a last look around the now empty house.

I thought of how excited I was to move into that house as a young teen knowing that my bedroom had been painted to my specifications—the walls a lovely shade of lavender with an accent of purple flowered wallpaper. My parents even had a sink and vanity built into a little alcove of the room. Given that I was the only girl in the family, I was so happy to have that special place to call my own.

The memories flooded back of family dinners, holidays (I brought my newborn daughter home from the hospital on Thanksgiving Day directly to that house where the family had gathered for Thanksgiving dinner), hosting our youth group for parties and Bible studies, playing board games with friends and family, and walking the nearby lake with my dad. It was a great house.

The amount of stuff we removed from the house after my mom died was incredible—closets, attic and garage, stuffed to the gills. We found a trunk that contained some of our baby clothes, boy scout and girl scout uniforms and Halloween costumes! When we first opened it, the smell of mothballs overpowered us (the mothballs worked, however, as there were only a few moth-eaten areas). It was fun reminiscing as we traveled back in time pulling things out of that steamer trunk. It did remind me of a certain scripture that I thought was applicable:

 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in and steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matthew 6:19-21 (NASB)

I have saved similar things from my own kids’ childhood. Mothers are like that. We want to hold on forever to the wonderful memories of babies cooing and toddlers laughing. We hope that one day, these items will bring our kids a measure of joy when we’re gone. But when we hold on to material things too tightly, it reveals a heart that’s more tethered to the earth than living for heaven.

Someone once said, “The game of life is seeing who can collect the most stuff and when you die it all goes back in the box.” In other words, spending your life collecting material things is all in vain. We will not take even one suitcase to heaven. God’s Word says we need to spend our energy and money on those things that will last—things like serving those less fortunate than ourselves, giving to missions to spread the gospel around the world, taking time to get to know people and to care about what’s going on in their life, growing in our relationship with God by spending time in His Word and in prayer. A sacrificial life of generosity and service is the life we are called to as believers. There’s no getting around it.

“Do not love the world or the things of the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride in one’s possessions— is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world with its lust is passing away, but the one who does the will of God remains forever.” 1 John 2:15-17 (NASB)

It is sweet to keep a few things from the past. It brings us warm fuzzy feelings and helps us remember special times. Trying to find fulfillment or to keep up with our peers by buying more and more stuff as we go through life is not so sweet. It reveals a misguided heart.

I hope I can find a place for my wagon wheel. I have a couple ideas. I’ve been trying to declutter these days due to the fact that my grown kids are not especially sentimental and each have their own decorating style (unfortunately they’re not western chic either).

Have a great week!

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Roots are Easy, Wings are Hard: Parenting Your Child for Success

Posted on June 21, 2024 by Heart of the Matter

 

We’ve all heard that we need to give our children roots and wings. I think we can all agree that the roots part is easy. As we love them consistently, provide for their basic needs and create opportunities for family memories, we are sinking those roots deep into the fertile soil of family togetherness.

But what about wings? Must we really equip them to fly away? I’d rather just keep my children safely under my protective wing forever so nothing can hurt them. There’s one problem with that: If I never let them go, how will they complete the important mission God has for them to do in the world? Every child has unique gifts, talents, and personality traits God intends to use for His purposes. It’s our responsibility to make those wings strong and sure, so that when they leave the nest, they can complete their all-important mission.

A few pointers for parents to help in the wing-shaping process:

  • Don’t be a helicopter parent. When our children are young, we want to be there as much as possible for their protection and support. It’s how we show them we care. As they get older, however, they need space to grow and develop. For example: It’s ok to go on a field trip with your 2nd grader. Good job on racking up those volunteer hours! If you’re still showing up at school every time the doors open once your child reaches high school—maybe, it’s time to land that helicopter. Older students need to experience things by themselves to grow. It’s time they learn to navigate new situations without mom—a very important life skill. This way they learn to analyze the options and make decisions for themselves. For example, an older student on a field trip may have to keep up with their own ticket, get to a meeting place on time, tune in to the teacher’s instructions and manage their own cash— all of which help develop responsibility. If you’re always there, your child will rely on you to hear and remember the pertinent information. Every time your child has experiences away from you, they gain confidence and find out they can, indeed, navigate the world on their own.
  • Allow your older child (3rd-12th grade) to do their own homework. Does this really need to be said? Unfortunately, yes. I’ve known parents who’ve spent hours sitting at the table coaxing their child painstakingly through every homework question (blood pressure rising to dangerous levels by the minute) just so their child wouldn’t get in trouble for not finishing it. Parents, life is too short for that. What will happen if your child is left to do their homework by themselves? They will learn about consequences, time management, and how to ask questions about material they don’t understand. Your middle school child should be confident enough to say, “Mrs. Jones, I don’t get this. Do you think you could find a time to help me?” They can learn to do this, with practice and encouragement from you. 
  • Encourage your older child to do their own communicating, with friends, teachers and coaches, when there is an issue. This is especially important for high school students. Are you calling the school every time your student doesn’t like the grade they got on a test? How about when your child doesn’t feel they’re getting enough playing time in their sport? In cases like this, you should have a conversation with your child to clarify the issue, pray with them, and maybe give them some wisdom as to how to proceed. But your child needs to learn to respectfully approach the teacher or coach and set up a time to meet with them to discuss the issue. Even older elementary students should be encouraged to talk to the teacher if they have an issue in the classroom. You can send a quick email stating that, “Johnny has an issue he’d like to talk to you about.” That way the teacher will be prepared and will make sure it happens.
  • Allow your child to cross the “bridges to adulthood” with confidence and in a timely manner. I’m talking about getting their driver’s license, applying for a part-time job, spending the day with a group of friends without you, etc. Of course, you know your own child and will know when they’re ready, but don’t let your own fear be a roadblock for them as they begin to spread their wings. Trust that God has them under His watchful eye.  
  • Include your child in family plans and decisions. Let your child know that his opinion is valuable, and his input appreciated. When we raise our children with respect and value their contribution to the family, they’ll be more likely to contribute their ideas and opinions out in the world. Now, more than ever, we need young people who have the courage to speak up for what is right.
  • Teach your child that God loves them and has a plan for them. Share the Gospel with your child. Tell them God has a wonderful, specific, plan for their life. Help them understand that as they walk in His ways, they’ll have the Holy Spirit to help them. Model kindness, generosity, and respect, in your home. Your example will go a long way in shaping responsible, independent, and caring young adults.

That doesn’t sound too hard, does it? In a nutshell, we as parents are to:

  • Love unconditionally.
  • Provide opportunities for growth and development.
  • Encourage our children’s gifts and strengths.
  • Teach our children that God is real, ever-present, and all-powerful!

Ultimately, we must let go of their hand, give them a gentle push, and let God take it from there.

“Sons are indeed a heritage from the Lord, offspring, a reward. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are the sons born in one’s youth. Happy is the man who has filled his quiver with them. They will never be put to shame when they speak with their enemies at the city gate.” 

Psalm 127:3-5 (CSB)

 

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Celestial Wonders of God’s Creation

Posted on April 11, 2024 by Heart of the Matter

 

 

 

My husband and I and our oldest grands recently took a trip to Kennedy Space Center in Florida where we watched a presentation on the amazing James Webb Space Telescope launched in 2021. The incredible photos it has taken of distant galaxies and never-before-seen planets, moons, and other astronomical phenomena have been shown around the world. They remind us all of the awesome creative power and singularity of God. Along with the recent total solar eclipse on April 8th, 2024, these images show us that God is, in fact, in control of an orderly, majestic, and expansive universe beyond our own solar system. Scientists have long studied heavenly processes such as solar and lunar eclipses, the elliptical orbits of the planets, and the explosive power involved in star birth and death. Many scientists attribute all of this to an incidental “Big Bang” that happened billions of years ago, but people of faith know— it is clear evidence of an intelligent and intentional, divine creator. 

 
 

God’s Word says that as we investigate the heavens—the work of His hands—we have no plausible reason to not believe in God. We are without excuse. In other words, the existence of an omnipotent, masterful creator is evident.

“For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, that is, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, being understood by what has been made, so that they are without excuse.” Romans 1:20

The most amazing part of it all is that this awe-inspiring creator cares about you and me. He loves us and wants a relationship with us. After sin entered the world through Adam in the Garden of Eden, our fellowship with God was broken. God was grieved and we were lost, dead in our sin and separated from Him. But because of His great love for us, God provided a way, at great sacrifice, for us to have new life and renewed fellowship with Him. That provision was Jesus Christ, God’s only Son, who died an agonizing death on the cross to pay for our sin and to reconcile us to God.

“But God demonstrates His own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8

“But He was pierced for our offenses, He was crushed for our wrongdoings; The punishment for our well-being was laid upon Him, and by His wounds we are healed.” Isaiah 53:5

When we accept Jesus as our Savior, acknowledge him as the Son of God, and repent of our sin, our life is forever changed. We have peace, forgiveness and grace for this life and the joy and privilege of spending eternity in His presence.

One day soon Jesus is coming again in power and glory. The Bible says He will appear in the sky and all will see Him. He will make all things new, and we will be changed in the blink of an eye to be perfectly suited for our life with Him in heaven and ultimately, on the new earth.

“Behold He is coming with the clouds and every eye will see Him, even those who pierced Him; and all the tribes of the earth will mourn over Him. So it is to be. Amen.” Revelation 1:7

“Beloved, now we are children of God, and it has not appeared as yet what we will be. We know that when He appears, we will be like Him, because we will see Him just as He is.” 1 John 3:2

 I wonder if then, we’ll be able to fly and float among the stars traveling to other galaxies and planets—exploring this incredible universe God created with our own eyes. We don’t know what our eternal body will be like, but I think we are in for a glorious, heart racing, otherworldly surprise!

 

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Because He is Risen!

Posted on March 25, 2024 by Heart of the Matter

 

“But on the first day of the week, at early dawn, they went to the tomb taking the spices they had prepared. And they found the stone rolled away from the tomb, but when they went in, they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus. While the were perplexed about this, behold, two men stood by them in dazzling apparel. And as they were frightened and bowed their faces to the ground, the men said to them, ‘Why do you seek the living among the dead? He is not here, but has risen…'” Luke 24:1-6 (ESV)

Because he is risen, my sins are washed away.

Because He is risen, the Holy Spirit now lives in me.

Because he is risen, I have an advocate at the right hand of the Father.

Because he is risen, I have all that I need.

Because He is risen, my life now has no end.

Because He is risen, I have a heavenly home with God.

Because he is risen, I will see my cherished loved ones again.

Because he is risen, I have hope, peace, purpose and joy.

Because he is risen, the Bible is true.

I pray that you and your family  have a glorious and meaningful Easter as you celebrate the resurrection of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

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