Enjoying Christmas When the Kids are Grown

Posted on December 25, 2024 by Heart of the Matter

 

Christmas is a little different these days. No struggle to get the kids to bed so we can assemble toys and fill stockings. No busy schedule full of concerts, recitals and school programs. Our kids are grown with families of their own and the responsibility of seeing they have a full and happy Christmas is no longer ours.

Yesterday, Christmas Eve, I was home alone. My husband was at work and the two kids who were in town, were spending Christmas Eve with their in-laws. Lest you start to feel bad for me, I enjoyed my day just about as much as the actual “Home Alone” kid did once he realized all the benefits it afforded! Time alone is severely under-rated.

The house was so quiet. I lit a few of my Christmas candles, flipped on the Christmas tree lights and took out my Bible. I began to read and meditate on the accounts of Jesus’s birth in Matthew and Luke. Many of us have a tradition of reading the Christmas story during the season—perhaps as we gather around the tree as a family— but we don’t often read it alone, in a spirit of prayerful meditation. That time in the Word was a blessing.

As I read the birth account, numerous references from the books of Isaiah, Jeremiah, Micah and Hosea, stood out to me. These Old Testament books, written thousands of years earlier, foretold and foreshadowed the events surrounding the birth of Jesus Christ.

Friends, we are a part of a centuries-old narrative orchestrated by the God of the universe. The God who created us and then saw us fall to sin and death by attempting to go our own way. The God who provided a way for our redemption and forgiveness by sacrificing His only Son to an agonizing death on the cross. The God who loves you and I that much.

Through His son, Jesus Christ, we can have hope, peace, joy, and help in this world, and can live an eternity with God in a paradise we can only imagine. I hope you will take hold of that greatest gift of all this Christmas and ask Jesus to be your Savior and Lord. Here is a resource on how to do that:  https://bethblamickwrites.com/how-to-become-a-christian/  or ask your local pastor or a Christian friend.

Today, Christmas Day, I will have 2 of my 3 birdies back in the nest (with their wonderful spouses) for a day of feasting, exchanging gifts, playing games, engaging in conversation, and of course, reading the Christmas story and reflecting on the year’s blessings. We’ll miss my oldest son and daughter-in-law who just had our 5th grandchild in another state and needed to stay put.

Even though Christmas looks different as we age, there is still so much joy and meaning to the season if you only look closely. Enjoy the moments you have with your spouse and with those grown kids when they do find their way home. Always keep the porch light on and your arms ready with a loving, welcoming hug. Find some time this year to meditate on the story of the birth of Jesus. After all, that is truly what Christmas is all about.

 

Posted in Christian Holidays, Holidays, Marriage, Parenting, Spiritual Encouragement, Thankfulness | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Raising a Daughter Who Shines: 6 Tips for Parents of Girls

Posted on December 24, 2024 by Heart of the Matter

“But if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask of God—who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly— and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith without doubting. For a doubter is like the surging sea, driven and tossed by the wind.” James 1:5-6 (CSB)

Breaking news! More grandbabies are on the way—both of them precious little girls. My middle son and his wife just carried out a Zoom gender reveal for the family. They’re having their first baby, and my oldest son is having his fifth. These are exciting times for this devoted grandma. After these two littles make their entrance into the world, we’ll have one grandson and five granddaughters! Given the fact that girls are coming like a swarm of lovebugs in the Florida springtime, I thought I’d share six tips for raising godly girls who shine.

  • Pray for your daughter—every day. Pray for her protection and for her heart to remain pure. Pray for her future husband, that he would be a man who loves Jesus and exhibits a bold walk of faith. It’s never too early to begin praying for that. Above all, pray that your daughter would come to know the Lord as her personal Savior.
  • Show her unconditional love and support—always. Try not to be overly critical of her performance or appearance. There are many grown women today who have emotional issues and lack of confidence due to hyper-critical parents. Accept her for who she is. Many a mom has tried to live vicariously through her daughter. Moms, this is her time to shine, not a “do-over” for you.
  • Teach her that God has a purpose for her life. Help her to understand that God loves her and has a unique and important plan for her to fulfill. Read the Bible to her and take her to church. Encourage her to fully participate in the children’s and youth activities there. Be an example by fully participating in church yourself.
  • Instill in her the importance of having Christian friends around her. Help her to develop a core group of friends whose parents are believers and desire to follow Jesus. On the other side of the coin, teach her to be loving and inclusive to all people in her circle of influence. Talk about this often. Remind her to be kind and respectful even to those who may be different than her. Teach her to be a friend to all. Don’t raise a mean girl.

 “The one who walks with the wise will become wise, but a companion of fools will suffer harm.”  Proverbs 13:20 (CSB)

  • Focus on the importance of modesty from an early age. That means, be the parent. As she moves into her adolescent years, don’t allow her to leave the house in skimpy, inappropriate apparel, mimicking secular culture. Help her learn to make good choices. Assist your daughter in finding her confidence in the Lord so that she won’t look for it in her appearance, her sexuality, her popularity, or even her achievements.
  • Treat your daughter with respect. Take the time to listen to her. Give her a voice in your family. Insist that siblings, especially brothers, treat her with respect, as well. Daughters need to know that they are important and valued.

I was the only daughter between two boys growing up. My parents were believers and took us to church where all three of us came to know the Lord. I am so grateful. However, my own parents were old school and not especially intentional in some of the areas I’ve mentioned. When I had my own daughter, I purposed to do so. She is a wife now and a kind, confident, Jesus follower. She has many friends, some of whom come to her for advice and counsel. She understands that her beauty comes from a heart devoted to the Lord. I’m so proud of her.

Your daughter will eventually make her own decisions—not all of them wise. You cannot completely protect her from the world or from herself. You can, however, pray for wisdom as you raise her—from the God of all knowledge and wisdom. You can be intentional and consistent in your methods. You can speak up about things that are important. You can be an example of all the traits you’d like to see in her. And you can love her with unconditional, abundant, unwavering love. Don’t waste a minute. Before you know it, you’ll be watching her walk down the aisle, a kind and confident Jesus follower, on the arm of her Prince Charming.

“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them. . .” Psalm 127:3-5 (ESV)

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Shattered Treasures, Open Hands

Posted on November 17, 2024 by Heart of the Matter

 

A loud –crash– echoed from the other room, interrupting my kitchen duties that morning. Seconds before, I’d been enjoying the raucous laughter of two of my kids as they bounded down the stairs, one in pursuit of the other. Now—there was dead silence—no crying, not even the sound of fleeing footsteps. I had to assume there were no injuries.

As I rounded the corner, there lay my antique double-globed lamp in shattered pieces on the hardwood floor (and two frightened children standing in stunned silence). Of course, I wanted to yell and scream—actually, I wanted to cry. Instead, I calmly told my kids to back up onto the stairs while I got the broom. I cleaned up the broken pieces of my beloved lamp—yet another casualty of a home full of little kids—and proceeded to have a serious follow-up talk with them.

Many items have been broken in our home over the years: lamps, glasses, plates, nativity figurines, one particularly special porcelain angel band, and other items. Usually, from kids being kids and getting a little too rambunctious inside the house or dropping things from little hands. It was upsetting, of course, but in the early years of childrearing, I determined to teach my kids that people are more important than things. I didn’t yell when things were accidentally broken and if I cried a little (which I must admit, happened sometimes), it didn’t last long.

I wanted my kids to know that the “stuff” we have here on earth isn’t going with us to heaven when we die so we shouldn’t hold on too tightly. If I were to be an example of that, I needed to be reasonable and understanding when they broke things. Of course, if rules were broken, that was addressed, and calm discipline rendered.

Jesus spoke to this issue in the Sermon on the Mount, in Matthew 6. He told the disciples that the things they valued betrayed what their hearts loved. He told them they were to love and treasure God above all else—that they couldn’t serve two masters, God and material wealth. The same goes for us. Jesus said:

“Don’t store up for yourselves treasures on earth where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroy and where thieves don’t break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matthew 6:19-21 (CSB)

This scripture came to mind recently after my newlywed daughter sent a cryptic text saying, “Thank you”. She followed up with a call saying her sweet husband had tossed a pillow from one couch to the other and knocked over a favorite, brand-new lamp. It was irreparably shattered. She wanted me to know she was so glad I taught her not to be upset when items are accidentally broken and taught her to value people over things. My daughter’s been married 2 years and is already learning to “roll with the punches” (and the pillows). “Just wait until you have children,” I told her. “The bestlessons are yet to come.”

If you’re like me, you love to decorate your home with pretty things and feel like they help make your house a home. Never forget, however, that it’s the people inside and the spirit of love and hospitality that make people feel at home. And children’s hearts are precious and fragile. Stuff is just stuff, it’s here and then it’s gone. Remember, your children are always watching and learning what it is that you treasure. Be a good example of holding the material things of this world with an open hand. It’s a beautiful—and biblical—thing to do.

“He then told them, ‘Watch out and be on guard against all greed because one’s life is not in the abundance of his possessions.’” Luke 12:15 (CSB)

Posted in Christianity, Grandparenting, Parenting, Spiritual Encouragement, spiritual growth | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Christian Liberty: What does it mean?

Posted on October 26, 2024 by Heart of the Matter

 

 

 

 

I was raised Southern Baptist, not the strict fundamentalist kind of Baptist, but the “drinking and tattoos are sinful” kind. Our church didn’t ascribe to as many rules as some Baptist churches did. My parents, faithful believers, played cards with friends every Friday night, and I went to the prom and danced. You wouldn’t catch us drinking or getting a tattoo, though. Ours was a typical Southern Baptist church of that era, the 1960’s and 1970’s. There wasn’t much preaching or teaching on the idea of “matters of conscience” (personal belief choices that are not strictly prohibited in the Word of God). Matters of conscience would include things like: what version of the Bible to use, what type of music is appropriate, hairstyle and clothing choices, homeschool vs public school, worship style—hymns or contemporary, whether to drink alcohol, or get tattoos, even particular eschatological views (like whether Christians will experience any of the tribulation).

All of these are issues on which believers may disagree. None are specifically prohibited or mandated in God’s Word and most importantly, they have nothing to do with salvation. When scripture is silent on an issue or doesn’t specifically address it, believers have the freedom in Christ to use discernment, guided by the Holy Spirit, to decide what to do. It’s what’s referred to as Christian liberty.

In Romans, chapter 14, Paul is writing to the church in Rome, made up of both Jews and Gentiles. There was disagreement on what rules must be followed to please God. The Jewish believers observed Holy Days, refrained from eating leftover meat from pagan sacrifices, and believed in circumcision. The Gentile believers didn’t follow Jewish customs and were convinced that all food was clean. Interestingly, Paul refers to the Jewish believers as the weak ones and the Gentiles as the strong. Because of these different views, there was division between the groups and there was a tendency to judge one another. Paul made the point that believers should love each other more than they love their personal convictions. Christians today should take note.

So how do we decide where we’ll stand on these issues of Christian liberty? Scripture does offer some guidelines. Here are three helpful things to keep in mind:

  • Paul tells us in Romans 14:13, that we are not to be a stumbling block to a brother or sister in the faith. In other words, if we know that our brother doesn’t share our opinion about an issue, we shouldn’t flaunt our choice in his face thus, causing him distress or hindering his chances of coming to the Lord. Love for our fellow man should take precedence over our personal rights. That’s a hard one for so many of us today, especially in America. We’ve become a self-centered, me first, people, not wanting anyone to take advantage of us.

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. Everyone should look not to his own interests, but rather to the interests of others.” Philippians 2:3-4 (CSB)

  • There is no room for judgement or contentious arguing in the church over matters of conscience. Paul reminded the Romans that one day we’ll all have to stand before God and that He is the only righteous judge. (Romans 14:10-12) Again, love must take precedence over the desire to be right. We should never argue over non-essential facets of faith. Our wise pastor repeats a particular phrase often from the pulpit. He says, “We must not let our convictions become condemnations” I love that so much, don’t you? We want our church to be a welcoming place where love is felt, and salvation is primary. Salvation, my friend, is by grace alone, through faith alone, in Christ alone. Nothing more.

“So then, let us pursue what promotes peace and what builds up one another.” Romans 14:19 (CSB)

  • Every believer has the Holy Spirit within to guide them in making decisions on matters of conscience. We can read the Word for ourselves, pray, and listen to the Spirit’s voice, as we seek to know what to do on these issues. The Lord led my husband and I to make certain choices because they were wise choices for our young family. We had Christian friends who made different choices, and that’s ok. As parents, we all want the same thing—for our children to be safe and healthy, and to come to know the Lord as their Savior.

“Now if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask of God, who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly, and it will be given to him.” James 1:5 (CSB)

In a nutshell, as we make choices on matters of conscience, we must not intentionally offend others with our choices. We’re not to argue with fellow believers over minor issues and we shouldn’t make choices that are physically or spiritually harmful to others. We wouldn’t want our choice to inhibit someone from coming to Christ. God gave us minds to think and reason, and offers wisdom to help us do the right thing.

“For the Lord gives wisdom; from His mouth come knowledge and understanding. He stores up success for the upright; He is a shield for those who live with integrity so that He may guard the paths of justice and protect the way of His faithful followers. Then you will understand righteousness, justice, and integrity—every good path.”

Proverbs 2:6-9 (CSB)

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Hope for Those With Election Anxiety

Posted on October 20, 2024 by Heart of the Matter

There is panic among the masses in our country at this moment—among liberals and conservatives. Election 2024 is happening in two weeks and there is much anxiety about which candidate will be steering the ship for the next four years. We worry about the loss of our freedoms, the future of our children and grandchildren, the economy, and other important issues.

Each side of the political spectrum believes that if the other candidate makes it into office, the world as they know it, will come to an end. They believe their hopes and dreams, their security, their very lives, depend upon which candidate gets into office. There is rampant fear across our country. When the election is over, there will be devastating disappointment, sadness, and shock, for many.

No doubt, the stakes are high at this point in our country’s history. But as believers, we can be assured that no matter which way the election goes, there is hope and solace in God and His Word.

In Romans 13:1, Paul writes, “Every person is to be in subjection to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those which exist are established by God.”  (NASB, emphasis mine)

God is in control, my friend. He is now and has always been. No one holds an office except that God allows it. God is the one who established an authority structure to begin with—for our own good—so that anarchy would not reign supreme, and to highlight sin and our need for a Savior. If the opposing candidate of your party wins the election, God will still be on the throne.

At this point, you may be thinking: Hold on, Paul was in a much different time and place. He had no idea when he wrote those words, the type of candidates who would be running nor the sorry state our country would be in today. 

 To the contrary, when Paul wrote this letter to the Roman church, Rome had one of the cruelest dictators to ever walk the planet—Nero. He murdered his mother, beat his pregnant wife to death and set Christians on fire to light the city. Yet, Paul called them to submit to his authority unless they were asked to do something contrary to the Word of God, in which case, they would stand up in obedience to God. The same goes for us.

Lest you think I’m advocating apathy in the voting process—absolutely not. I believe we must vote according to the Word of God. There are certain subjects on which the Bible could not be more clear—marriage and the value of human life being two of them. In addition, we must always stand for religious freedom, so that we can continue to worship as we see fit and share the gospel at home and abroad. We certainly must exercise our right to vote.

I hope I have lessened your anxiety a little bit with this post. God already knows who our next president will be. Regardless of the outcome, we must say with Paul:

“Brothers and sisters, I do not regard myself as having taken hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” Phiippians 3:13-14 (NASB)

The world will go on until Jesus comes again to reign in power and truth. We can have hope, joy and peace until that time, no matter our political circumstances. If you do not know Jesus Christ as your Savior and Lord, now is a great time to make that life-changing decision.

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