Is there anything more important to raising genuine Christ-followers than taking our kids to church? If we’re there every time the doors are open will our kids grow up to be Bible-believing, faithful, engaged believers? What is the secret to raising kids who are deeply in love with God and His Word instead of just rule followers who think they’re good if they do all the right things?

Our Empty Nest

Our own kids are grown now, and we’re grateful that each of them has made a profession of faith in Jesus Christ. Our prayer for them at this point is that the depth of their faith, and love for His Word would grow as the Lord continues to work in each of their lives. We raised our kids in church but there are certainly things we wish we’d done a better job on as Christian parents.

In this article, I hope to share some advice for parents of young children to help you on your journey in raising genuine Christ-followers.

First, I want to say that I’m not criticizing church attendance. Taking your kids to a Bible-believing church on a regular basis is essential. Find a church whose goal is to love your kids to Jesus, in partnership with you. That being said, your children’s pastor or youth pastor is not solely responsible for the spiritual development of your child. Remember, your children spend much more time in your home than they do at church. Your home is your child’s faith incubator, so if you want to raise genuine believers, you must live genuine faith in front of them. Here are some helpful reminders:

Tips for Raising Genuine Christ-Followers

• Ensure that conversation in your home (and car) is honoring to God. Avoid gossip, and criticism of others in front of your kids. Conversations like these are not God-honoring: “Why in the world does that Joe have to run up and take the pastor a cup of water every week during the sermon, he’s such a showoff.”, “Did you notice how much weight Susie has put on?” And, for heaven’s sake, don’t roast the pastor on your way home from church. As your children listen in, they are learning whether or not you truly love and respect others (the pastor included!). (Ephesians 4:29, Philippians 4:8, Ephesians 5:4)
• Make prayer an embedded strategy in your family culture. Pray for your children and others. Include your kids in prayer time. Pray about things that need attention as they come up—problems at school, disagreements at home, decisions that need to be made. Let your kids see you praying with your spouse. Ask your kids how you can pray for them and do it right away, in the moment. (Philippians 4:6,   1  Thessalonians 5:17, James 5:16)
• Read God’s Word at home. Do your kids think the Bible is just something you carry to church on Sundays? Your kids should see you reading the Bible. Read it to them on a regular basis. Memorize scripture together, perhaps posting the verse you’re learning in a prominent place in the home. Share intentionally about how much you love God’s Word and why. For example, it tells us who God is—His attributes and character. It shows us how to please Him with our attitudes and behavior. It tells us about Jesus and His love for us. (Joshua 1:8, Psalm 119:97, Psalm 119:105)
• Exhibit love, service, and self-sacrifice in your marriage relationship. Your children should see you serving each other in various ways, being affectionate, and having fun together. When children know their parents love each other, it makes them more secure and you are modeling the unconditional love Jesus has for them. (Philippians 2:3-5, Romans 12:10, 1 Peter 4:10)
• Establish a forgiveness culture in your home. Teach your children: We forgive each other right away and don’t hold a grudge. We ask forgiveness when we hurt someone, physically or emotionally. Sin and forgiveness are key concepts when it comes to understanding salvation. Make sure you’re laying the groundwork for them to make a profession of faith when the Holy Spirit draws them to Himself. Speaking of their profession of faith—share the plan of salvation with them. There’s nothing more beautiful than a Christian parent leading their own child to Christ. (Colossians 3:13, Mark 11:25, Ephesians 4:31-32)

Dads as Spiritual Leader of the Home

In many Christian homes, spiritual responsibilities are left to mom, even when Dad is a believer. Dads, please don’t let that happen in your home. God has established you as the spiritual leader of your family, therefore, you should be the driving force behind your family’s spiritual growth and should take the lead in establishing a culture of genuine faith. Moms, of course, are critical in the day-to-day spiritual training of their kids. They often spend more time with them in the home and have more opportunity to teach, train, pray and have spiritual conversations. My prayer is that these tips help you to model genuine Christianity in front of your children so they will know that faith is about more than attending church.

 Profile of a genuine Christ-follower:

Genuine Christ-followers try to please Jesus every day, at home and at work, by living in obedience to the Word and by loving and serving others. Of course, we are sinners and will never reach perfection here on earth but we are called to obedience.

Genuine Christ-followers love the Word of God, honor it as absolute truth, and look to it for direction and help. They know the Bible is God-breathed and inerrant.

Genuine Christ-followers pray—and not just on Sundays or before meals. They believe that prayer is an essential part of the Christian life.

Genuine Christ-followers show love and respect for each other. Both within the family and in the wider world.

Genuine Christ-followers forgive—readily and regularly, just as Christ forgave (and forgives) us.

We did (what we thought was) our best at the time we were raising our children, but looking back, we certainly could have done better. Raising kids is not an exact science. Many a Christian parent has soaked the carpet with tears as they dropped to their knees in prayer for a wayward teenager or young adult child. There are many factors involved in a child’s growth and spiritual development. But we can trust that the Lord loves them even more than we do and will hear our prayers for them. God has a plan for each and every one of our children. Their spiritual journey may not look like we’d hoped, but we can trust Him.

I pray that your precious children will come to know Jesus as their Savior and will grow into spiritual maturity as the Holy Spirit works to make them more like Him. I pray that when your children leave your home, they will have a genuine, grown-up faith. One that will stand the tests of time, trial, and temptation—a faith that is their own. I pray that they will fall deeply in love with God and His inspired Word and will desire to know Him more and more.