Forgiveness is hard. It’s hard when it’s family. It’s hard when the ones who’ve wronged you don’t believe they’re at fault. It’s hard when the same person offends again and again.  There have been times in my own life where I’ve had to humble myself and ask forgiveness for some pretty grievous things. Thankfully, those I hurt forgave me and there was healing. I’ve had to forgive others over the years, as well. I’ve learned that a peaceful life is only possible as we seek forgiveness when we mess up and extend that same forgiveness to others—offering grace and mercy.

Unforgiveness is like a backpack full of heavy rocks weighing us down with every step. It’s a burden many people carry for years. We hold on to grudges for so long we don’t even remember what upset us in the first place or realize how it’s affected our life and well-being. It takes a lot of energy to maintain a wall of defense—to shut someone out, for days, months, or years. It’s emotionally draining. Unforgiveness makes us angry, bitter and depressed. It shatters families and destroys friendships.

The fact is: It’s impossible for the believer to live a peaceful, joy-filled life while refusing to forgive. Make no mistake, deciding not to forgive someone is a choice. Maybe it’s time to lay down our weapons of emotional punishment, to tear down our walls of defense, and to drop our heavy burdens of unforgiveness. I hope today you’ll decide to do just that.

Here are 6 facts about forgiveness:

1. Forgiveness is mandated by the Word of God. We are to forgive because, at great sacrifice, through the death of His only Son, God forgave us.

“So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so must you do also.” Colossians 3:12-13

2.  Forgiving others is a matter of obedience, an essential component of every believer’s life. Obedience is a marker of our love for God and our faithfulness to Him. It’s an intentional choice we make every day in a million different ways.

“If you love me, you will keep my commandments.” John 14:15

3. We cannot wait for the offender to see the error of his ways before we forgive. Even if they’ve not come to us seeking forgiveness, we must forgive them anyway. Forgiveness is about you and your own heart condition, not about them. They may never come to you and ask for forgiveness but that has no bearing on your responsibility to forgive.

“Hatred stirs up conflicts, but love covers all offenses.” Proverbs 10:12

4. There are no limits to how many times we forgive someone, as evidenced by the interaction between Jesus and Peter in Matthew 18. We must forgive those who wrong us as many times as is necessary.

“Then Peter came up to Him and said, ‘Lord, how many times shall my brother sin against me and I still forgive him? Up to seven times?’ ‘I do not say to you up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven times.’” (in other words, countless times) Matthew 18:21-22

5. Forgiveness is not a one–time thing. It’s something we’ll need to do again and again in life. As a matter of fact, we need to live in a constant state of forgiveness—always ready to forgive everyone for everything. There will never come a day when you’ll have nothing to forgive or no one in your life who offends—not until Jesus comes again and takes us to a perfect heaven. This earth is imperfect, and every inhabitant is a sinner. Like the Scout motto says: “Always be prepared”… to forgive.

“If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all people. Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written: ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay’, says the Lord.” Romans 12:18-19

6. The sin of unforgiveness forms a barrier between us and God. Although it doesn’t affect our salvation, it hinders our fellowship (as do other entrenched sins in our lives). It also opens the door to Satan’s meddling as we move out from under God’s umbrella of protection and continue in disobedience. When we confess our sin, forgive the offenders and seek God’s forgiveness, our fellowship and protection are restored.

Don’t let unforgiveness ruin your life. Let go of grudges. Make room for peace, joy and blessing by forgiving those who’ve sinned against you. Remember, we can only control our own attitudes and reactions. We have no control over what others do. If they’re believers, they’re responsible to God for their own behavior. It’s not our job to “make them pay” by giving them the cold shoulder or worse. We must love and we must forgive. God commands it. Let go of any unforgiveness today. The Holy Spirit will give you the strength you need to do it. Enjoy a renewed sense of peace and blessing as you go forward prepared to forgive everyone for every offense, big and small.